Trauma is an experience by which an individual has been exposed to an event or events that can be categorised as either situational or developmental in nature. Situational traumas are directly linked to specific occurrences such as armed robbery, rape, or hijacking, abuse, divorce, loss of parent etc. Developmental traumas are associated with transitions between different stages of life, ranging from childhood to old age, as well as the challenges over a period of time posed by fatal diseases, injuries, or difficult circumstances. Main stream speaks about the capital T traumas and small t traumas.  

The small t traumas have long lasting impact on the human psyche.  These aspects of trauma go unnoticed but have profound impacts on our personality and behaviour.   They are often seen as seemingly ordinary events that have a strong hold on how we connect or don’t connect with the world around and within us.  Examples of these include;  Not being seen, heard or recognised by a parent, teacher, family, friends, being bullied,  repeated harsh comments of a well-meaning parent and or lack of connection with an emotionally unavailable parent/adult etc.  

All of these aspects whereby our needs are not met impact our perceptions, behaviours, thought patterns and what we do and believe we are capable of doing. 

As Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned expert in trauma, once stated, “Trauma is not what happens to us, but what happens inside us as a result of what happens to us.” This quote captures the essence of trauma, emphasising that it is not solely about the external events themselves, but rather the impact they have on an individual’s coping abilities. When faced with trauma, a person’s coping mechanisms become dysfunctional, and their usual ways of dealing with life’s challenges are severely impaired.

In order for an experience to be classified as traumatic, it typically encompasses at least one of the following elements: a sense of “fatalness,” where the individual perceives a threat to their life or well-being; an irrevocable conclusion, where the event or its consequences are perceived as permanent and unchangeable; or the severe impairment of the individual’s usual coping abilities, rendering them unable to effectively navigate the aftermath of the traumatic experience.

Overall, trauma is a deeply distressing and transformative experience that affects individuals who have been exposed to significant and overwhelming events. It is important to recognise and address trauma with compassion and support, as the effects can be long-lasting and require specialised care to promote healing and restoration.